Why don’t we overcome or get over some people in life?
Each and every person will take a piece away from you and will give you a piece that is going to be with you always. No one leaves just like that they will leave something which you are going to carry with you for the rest of your life knowingly or unknowingly.
Breaking up is always going too hard no matter what kind of a relationship you’re in but getting over someone is even harder, especially if you’re the one who was more involved and somehow the other person wasn’t. You always thought of giving it whatever you have with yourself and the other person always came in half-heartedly because according to them they whatever they could but you always felt like something is missing and you were trying to fill that void but somehow you weren't successful.
Somehow you are still stuck in that time. You are not scared of losing them but you’re scared to lose the feeling that you have been feeling all this while because you gave yourself in and you did whatever you could. You don't regret it but are not satisfied with how it has turned out to be. You are still trying to find those pieces which will help you in creating a better image because sometimes you might feel like you should have ended it soon but you were not having the strength to do so. You want to feel better as soon as possible, you want to get over it as soon as possible obviously, there’s no way of knowing how long it’ll take you to feel back to yourself, because there are so many factors at play: why the relationship ended, how long it lasted, who initiated the breakup, whether you saw it coming, how dependent you were on your ex, and your attachment to your primary caregiver during childhood, among other things. Yet most people assume they’ll get over it eventually.
Being ‘over’ someone means being able to think about them without heightened feelings, such as anger, loss, pain, or sadness, and being able to dispassionately accept what happened between you, why it went in vain and you thought of it as a FOREVER kind of relationship and suddenly one day you see it falling it apart.
The issue with us is to get over one person we tend to cling to another one and when that doesn't work we move ahead and we keep repeating the same thing with every other relationship we get into it. We never give ourselves space and time to heal. All we want is to be next to someone who makes us feel something good about anything. A lot of time because of these continuous activities we never really heal even though we feel like it.
As said by Hayley Quinn (Dating Expert)
“The key to moving on quickly isn’t to fight your emotions: it’s normal to feel sad, rejected, or like there’s something missing. I believe in, yes, filling your life with new ambitions, plans, and excitement but also having a couple of nights a week to chill out and have space to grieve.”
Guy Winch recommends in his TED talk, “How to fix a broken heart”. Do it on your phone so you can whip it out easily during heavy-hearted moments.
All we need to do is focus on the gains that we had while being in a relationship and being out of it. All we need to do is to hold on to one particular thing which helps us in making us feel better about the whole scenario.
“ Thank you for making me realize I deserve better and I can have someone better than you”
A lot of times we are grieving about something else and we connect it to some anotherthing and we have no idea about how it is connected and how it is affecting us. We might grieving on a loss of that feeling and not that person or may be we might be grieving on a loss of someone close to us and we know we are going to feel the same kind of pain again so we are trying to run away from it.
It is important to griev and take your time to come out if it and you dont have to be fixated on the idea of how long you should be in that phase. The way you we working on making the relationship work in the same you will have to work on your ownself to feel better and you are healing. You can have as much as distraction as possible but you will need to work on yourself on a psychological and emotional level to have a lasting impact.
